im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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