the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
