Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
love makes seman taste better
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize