Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
