There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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