I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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