At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
