I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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