The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
