i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
