Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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