All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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