So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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