Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
