I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
