I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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