my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
