:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
