i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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