You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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