First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize