I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
