Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have demons in me.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
