Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
