those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
