I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
