also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
