No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
