Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
