The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
