This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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