i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
