i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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