Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
