who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
