do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
