Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
