But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
