i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
should my penis look like a turkey
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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