one might say we're banned from that church
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
