Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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