if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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