Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
