i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
