I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
