i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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