Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize