Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
