I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
