Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
