I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
