So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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