I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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