Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize