I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
