how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My ATM looks so different sober.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
