Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
