Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
